my man paulie

you know paulie.

he’s the type of dude that’s all over you. like, really gets under your skin. he’s kind of hairy. a little prickly. and smells funny too. it was love at first sight, sure, but later you’ve come to realize he can be a real asshole sometimes. on a good day he’s all warm and fluffy, on a bad day you want to stab him in the face.

but still he keeps hangin’ around, and you like it. kind of. sort of.

paulie by isabell kraemer
size modified small
fortissima alpaka & drops baby merino (270g & 50g / 2.5mm)

yes it’s me in a skirt, get over it

i made some modifications to both the size and style, because let’s face it, no man nor cardigan could ever satisfy me the way god intended them to. i started out with size small but realized it would be too small, so i added a couple of increase rounds and regular garter rounds before separating the sleeves. then i knitted all the way down, finished the hem and added the collar and front bands, went “oh god not again”, and started over.

i didn’t like the garter hems so i made a wide ribbing instead. at first the edge seemed to flip over because of the wide stockinette parts, but binding off from the wrong side makes it sit nicer. left out the waist shaping too, because as you can see i have absolutely no waist anyway. pretending i do would be cheating, and cheating is lying and lying makes you sterile.

“eww, there’s nature in here”

for some reason the front garter parts seem to bulge out a little. it’s not that it’s too wide. i guess garter just doesn’t work with my saggy boobs. also the collar won’t fold stay folded like it’s supposed to. and the left sleeve is wider than the right. what else? oh yeah, i sewed the buttons at the wrong places. point it out and die.

i dare you

but paulie grows on you. like most guys do. and by most i mean anyone who tells me i’m pretty.

hit the jump for more info and photos.

paulie was made with the delightful company of the following movies, TV shows and music (feel free to make assumptions about my personality and/or intelligence based on this carefully transcribed selection):

happy-go-lucky (2008)
kiss kiss bang bang (2005)
on the beach (1959)
who’s afraid of virginia woolf (1966)
mildred pierce (1945)
office space (1999)
on the town (1949)
the strange love of martha ivers (1946)
rambo: first blood part II (1985)
spellbound (1945)
dark blue (2002)

yes, this picture just screams “rambo”
QI x6
little britain x2
the simpsons x3
entourage x6
live at the apollo x2
yes prime minister x4
silent witness x2
south park x4
messiah: the reckoning
air crash investigation
45 minutes special: diet or my husband dies
waking the dead
make ’em laugh
teen mom

pictured: collar and one saggy boob
midlake – the courage of others
moonface – organ music not vibraphone like i’d hoped
 destroyer – trouble in dreams
 andrew bird – the mysterious production of eggs
deftones – around the fur
metallica – ride the lightning
onelinedrawing – visitor
tapes ‘n tapes – walk it off
sepultura – roots
sunset rubdown – daytrotter session
okkervil river – the stage names
patrick wolf – lycanthropy
far – water & solutions
swan lake – enemy mine

also, ones i shall never admit having seen or heard (even though i totally did):

phat girlz (2006)
more teen mom
linkin park – hybrid theory*

*oh to be 17 again
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1 Response

  1. Love your Paulie! I cannot see anything wrong with it, did not find a saggy boob and who needs to be 17 to enjoy Linkin Park (I&#39;m 54 and love them – also Metallica, Drowning Pool, Disturbed, etc)!! I think your mods will help me work through my Paulie (or one for my daughter or granddaughter).<br /><br />Thanks for the laughs and info!!!<br />

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