march of the sinister knits

well the crochet thing is off. having trudged through 400 meters of yarn in one sitting (with this lovely shawl in mind) i somehow just went “meh” and moved on. the construction and shape didn’t feel right. or maybe the butch trucker lesbian side of me’s just not ready for pink lace. how sweet is the taste of giving up.

but i do have something to show you instead. throughout the spring i’ve made lots of stuff which i haven’t had the time to present here, due to an unexpected and outrageous lack of spare time. being currently sick with flu offers a welcome break to do some blogging as well as the inevitable jurassic park marathon.

and so, a terribly long and incoherent cavalcade of finished knits follows.

seasons by jared flood
size 3
brooklyn tweed loft (70g / 3 & 3.5mm)

i got the brooklyn tweed seasons kit as soon as they went on sale back in march or something. i just had to get my hands on that loft yarn. (it’s totally hot, by the way.) my colorwork is rather, um, amateurish, but the colors themselves are heathered enough to cover up a lot of my inability to comprehend the concept of “color domination”.

the hat was a little snug when finished, so i wanted to block it to a nice generous slouchy look. a delightful little encounter ensued at a local department store, where i just happened to walk past the flower section with some completely unrelated business in mind, and saw a white flower pot that, when turned upside down, just caught my eye as the most perfect hat blocking device ever. so i took it to the counter and asked the girl what the circumference was.

“the diameter’s 19 centimeters,” she said. “no no, i need to know the circumference,” i replied and made her look at me like she couldn’t understand the words i was vomiting out. i was then forced to explain how this particular pot seemed the perfect size to aid me in wet-stretching a knitted garment which i couldn’t pin down and flat-dry because i didn’t want the side creases and how the pot needed to be between 60 and 65 centimeters because my head is 58 and i liked my hats a little loose, and i just needed to be sure about the pot size before i bought it.

she was probably lost at “wet-stretching”.

but in eerie silence she took out a measuring tape anyway and announced that the circumference is 62 centimeters, to which i responded with some joyous hand-clapping, to which she in turn responded with a look as if i was actually intending to use the pot in some completely different affair, possibly relating to eating babies and/or having sex with leather-clad muppets.

just imagine what a girl can do with a pot like this

but i took it home anyway and blocked the hat, and it’s perfect. never mind the fact that i’m probably on some stockmann persona non grata list now.

“i never should’ve fallen for that muppet”

speaking of hats, back when it was -25C outside i made me a wurm to keep my precious, precious ears warm with its double-layered edge. the size was perfect at first, but after blocking and in use the yarn got all droopy to the point where it’s almost too slouchy. so next time i’ll be making a smaller size.

wurm by katharina nopp
size biggiest
lana grossa cool wool merino (70g / 4mm)

then i made two of these ruffle necklaces, one for me and one for a friend for her birthday. i had to adjust the pattern a little because following the chart i couldn’t get the edges symmetric.

ruffle bib necklace by stefanie fail
ravelry link
mayflower cotton 8 big (25g / 3.5mm)

mine totally look better than the originals, by the way.

then there’s a couple of socks i made as presents for some nice people who are working hard to relieve me of my family curse of hideously crooked teeth. yes, i should’ve gotten them fixed back in the 90s. yes, i’m a 27-year-old with braces. no, i’m not very smart. but just a couple more months and i’ll be stunning. yeah. take that.

a girl at work, a.k.a. miss R, a.k.a. my partner in crime in all yarn-related mischief (no it’s not an oxymoron) taught me broomstick lace because, as it turns out, i’m not inherently the ultimate master of all knittingy and crochety bits. so with this newly-acquired skill i made some bracelets. they make me look all pretty. and cool.

the yarn’s schachenmayr catania in various colors and there’s 10 repeats in each. one bracelet took maybe 5 grams.

and finally i made another shallows, this time with some egyptian cotton and one less chart repeat so it sits a little snugger. also i took a crappy photo of it with a warped perspective, distorted colors and dismal white balance. it’s all part of the process.

there. i’m all puffed out now. i shall be dreaming about jeff goldblum tonight.

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6 Responses

  1. I&#39;m still laughing about the Stockmann sales girl and the deer in headlights look that she must have had! Ahhh…Stockmann…is it weird that I miss that place? I have fond memories of maps being drawn for me that all revolve around where the Stockmann was located…and the ice cream. Copious amounts of ice cream…<br /><br />My, my…you are a knitting machine! I love it all! I also

    1. hahaa i have to agree with melissa. that story is halarious! however, i have never been to stockmann.. but it was still funny 🙂 i love all of the fo&#39;s! super jealous of your brooklyn tween hat and loft! wahoo! i think it&#39;s uber pretty… i&#39;ve tried the broomstick lace, and just got frustrated.i love yours! <br />as for 2 pairs of socks?! well done. well done… that&#39;s a lot of

  2. melissa, you should know that stockmann is in fact the center of the finnish universe. they made into every headline in the country a while back when the front door clock stopped for a day or two. and did you see the golden fish they keep up on 4th floor? crazy shit. i actually need to go back with some other business but i guess it&#39;s best if i lay low for awhile. you really really need to

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