19
May
2012
0

terminally happy

continuing where i left off last time, i’ve been in a terribly, terribly good mood lately.

(i’m also aware that my updates have become increasingly infrequent. in my defense i can only say that it seems i’ve actually gone out and got myself a life. good news for my social life, bad news for writing pseudo-witty rants in the dark. also, my camera is a complete shitsack, which prevents me from snapping the artistically pleasing photos that form the foundation for this fine blog.)

i’ve been waking up to an odd feeling, one that makes me think things are somehow gonna be fine. that i have the potential to overcome anything life and bob decide to throw at me. that despite whatever may or may not happen, i’ll eventually emerge as someone who’s not entirely broken down in body and spirit.

fuck the illness. fuck work. fuck the financial crisis. fuck them all right in the ear. seems like nothing can penetrate this armour of maniacal contentment that’s somehow hovering around me right now.

of course this could all be just a symptom of some deadly brain tumor ticked off by the MRI i had last week. MRI number 8, to be exact, in 34 months, also to be exact. what a profoundly useful way of spending both time and money. probably some kind of a world record, especially with the zero findings there’s been so far. i’m probably infertile now too, because of all the radiation. oh well. at least i’m not claustrophobic. au contraire, i’m flaky enough to actually enjoy being there. what a strange person.

of course it could just be the spring. watching fresh green leaves pop out. feeling the gravel in my terminally worn-out summer shoes (which i refuse to retire because i got them in canada). wearing t-shirts outside, for god’s sake. hope smells a lot like rain and earthworms.

but of course i know it all comes down to being at the right place at the right time, seeing and hearing the right things, being completely and overwhelmingly encompassed with something you can’t explain but what makes you swoon and pant and giggle like a little girl anyway. or someone with a fatal aneurysm.

either way, i’m happy enough. anyone planning on raining on my parade right now.. well, i’d just like to see you fucking try.

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