epic non-fail

 so i didn’t die. apparently i’m more resilient than i thought. but all the squinting at the pattern did make my brain go ouch. even though this was a rehearse project the end result is pretty sweet. the yarn works well in terms of color and material, so not too shabby a choice for something that was supposed to be a textbook case of “epic fail”.

size 175 x 15 cm
colinette jitterbug (just under 100g/4mm)


i spent the entire sunday finishing and blocking the scarf while drinking tea and listening to dan bejar and metallica (metallica? yes, metallica) which caused my idyll-o-meter to go red so today i’ve mostly scratched my proverbial balls and spit on people walking under my balcony. the universe is again balanced.

seriously, it really is nice to do things you consider nice. another pearl of my wisdom right there.

i probably need to re-block the scarf at some point soon, because it seems to have shrunk back a little. but i guess it’s going to shrink horizontally anyway since i wear it kind of scrunched around my neck.

by the way, i dare you all to try and find rust-proof T-pins in a town that somehow still thinks regular pins are perfectly functional for all household chores from hanging posters to popping zits. i finally spotted them at a local model store but caused the guy at the counter to have an aneurysm when i kept asking him if they were stainless steel. “why’s that important, how long were you planning to immerse them in water?” well thanks for not being a dick about it.

anyway, lace virginity lost. high five. where are mah smokes?



look mom, no hands!

is this me making this perfectly awesome 31×16 stitch pattern? or some holographic projection of me? am i dead yet? why’s that monkey wearing a tube top?


looks like lace is not entirely as cryptic and cringe-worthy as i led you to believe. i did take some precautions (sedatives, mainly) before color-coding the pattern and dividing it into blocks of 4 stitches. four stitches i can manage. try five and my face will explode.


to boldly go..

so what del happens when someone with a negative attention span and zero ability to follow instructions tries to knit lace?

despite my 20 years of knitting experience i’ve intentionally kept myself away from projects which, without any exaggeration, can drive me to jump off a cliff while shoving a stake into avifauna my brain AND inflating my lifevest before the stewardess says it’s ok. let’s just them call it pre-emptive self-defense.

then my friend asked me to make her a super fancy lace scarf for her sister’s p? wedding. and bought some super fancy (and super expensive) silk yarn that’s just too fancy to be destroyed in a frustrated moment’s rage, which will come at some point, believe me. so i need cheap nba jerseys practice before the real thing. i don’t like practice. i don’t like asparagus either. but sometimes you just need pretty to eat the effing asparagus because your stupid mother-in-law is sitting right there and saying no would Письмо cause your cheap nfl jerseys entire social universe to cheap jerseys collapse.

so i hereby declare my intention to expand my affairs to uncharted lace territory. if i die before summer it’s because of lace.

and i want a viking funeral.



excessively displeased avifauna

..or, as the colloquial translation goes, angry f-ing birds.

ok. so it turns out geeks love toys.

recognizing opportunity where i saw one, i tapped into the infinite demand of crocheted class=”menu” novelty items by making a red bird for my brother, who’s an engineer and plays with his iphone almost as much as he plays with himself. then he showed the thing (bird, that is) to all his engineer friends. and soon my email was completely swarmed with mails from 30-something engineers asking to cheap nba jerseys make them November one too. all i need to do now is get a bunch wholesale mlb jerseys of robots to amplify the production rate simple around 2000 % and pretty soon i can retire to an island somewhere and wholesale mlb jerseys inject myself with liquid syndrome money.

improvised pattern
made with all kinds of scrap yarn and a hootin’ whole lot of felt, wholesale jerseys paper and glue

i never thought my crocheting would be considered cool. take that, age-old preconceptions about handicraft being lame and embarrassing! i’m the ruler of this block now.

i’m pretty stoked too how they turned out. my birds kick ass. Runway the piggy especially. it stares right Post into your soul.



plain, simple & pretty

this one took forever to make, but it had less to do with me being slow or mentally defective and more cheap mlb jerseys with a grade A flu mixed with bronchitis wholesale jerseys and debilitating back pain. or so i keep telling myself.

size modified small
grignasco flavia baby (350g/2,5mm)

most sweaters i’ve made have ended up as Photography moth food because a) i’m cheap NFL jerseys too lazy to read the pattern properly or, b) i’m alert enough to read the pattern but am still too lazy to them make any gauge/size/yarn modifications. so when i try them on they fit like shit (whoa, that rhymes) so i kind of break down and start punching people, but because i live alone there’s no one to punch so i punch myself, repeatedly, and a week later 2014 my mom sees me and wholesale jerseys asks what the hell happened, and i tell her i tried to make a sweater, and she says “oh ok”. she knows how i roll.

but this one, man.. this one.. i love it. i love the yarn November and the fit and the collar and the buttons and i’m just gonna go now and make sweet love to this sweater so move away, people.

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