:: fluff & hustle

Mar

2015

greetings, granny-o

12 Mar 2015

i suppose i should say welcome. or something.

hi! i am liisa, the slightly obnoxious, fluff-covered queen of the universe.

you may remember me from such recent hits as the great speed knitting debacle of 2013, the fabled story of losing a red scarf (and why the fuck anyone should care), or the attempt to lure clara parkes into a lesbian threesome.

if not, that’s cool. i’m not actually famous.

fluff & hustle is an expansion of what i’ve done so far and an ambitious placeholder for things i will do in the future – most of them involving some level of world domination, some of them likely pertaining to farts and nailpolish (you’ll see).

the remnants of socks-a-plenty, my incredibly neglected, illegitimate brain-child from before-time, are still here for you to read and enjoy and draw incriminating conclusions from.

i wish you all a safe journey to the inner workings of my mind, which, in the immortal words of ace ventura, pet detective, are stinky… and loaded with danger.

thank you, qaplá, fuck yeah.

Jul

2014

barney

liisa

finished 2014, knitting, socks

30 Jul 2014

having grown up in a time and culture where children’s TV programming mainly consisted of DDR propaganda, extremely disturbing PSA’s, and german detective cartoons where every episode contained at least one plotline involving strippers and/or boobs, it’s probably not surprising that i never got to know barney.

sad face.

i would probably be a lot more pleasant to deal with, a lot less troubled with negative emotions, and a whole heck of a lot less burdening to others today, had i learned very early on that happiness is the only acceptable state of being, disagreeing is futile and disrespective, and your own needs are always infinitely less important than those of others.

again, sad face. but i did learn a lot about boobs.

either way, a while back i offered to make the boy a pair of socks for his birthday, because he has the soul of a pensioner and thus suffers from cold feet (and increasingly greying hair). i even went so far as to let him pick colours.

of all the colours in all the world, he picked barney’s.

to be fair, i rejected his inital choice of the dr. seuss-esque combination of red and white, just because it was in my power to do so.

oh, what a girl wouldn’t do for his love muffin.

Jul

2014

zombies

liisa

misc

27 Jul 2014

i’ve been busy. lots of things happening around here. many of them good, some not so good.

things changing across the board.

despite all the insane and outrageous and preposterously rewarding life-changing choices i’ve made in the recent years, i’m really not very good with change at all.

change is something unknown and uncontrollable. it scares the living fuck out of me. change may open doors, but you know who else uses doors?

ZOMBIES.

i’m taking very slow and apprehensive steps towards a direction where there’s nothing but intuition. i don’t know what’s going to happen. there’s no precedent in my life for any of the things i’m doing now.

is the road going to be awesome and inspiring, or am i going to end up flatlining on the side of a highway somewhere? how do i know what to take with me, and what to dump along the way? how do i gauge what happiness is, or what it could be?

is this what being a grown-up is?

there’s a sense of changing weather in my fat belly and there’s just no way of knowing how good or bad it’s going to be.

so i’m just kind of sitting here, knitting something, and breathing, and going, “okay, yeah, let’s see how fast them zombies are. “

May

2014

the big reveal

liisa

cardigans, finished 2014, knitting, patterns

27 May 2014

the secret is out. part of it, anyway.

i’m sorry it’s not a box with an embarrassing spongebob photo inside. but it’s pretty sweet anyway.

please give a standing ovation to my first published pattern. let me repeat that last bit. it’s a pattern. which i designed. on my own. i’m awesome.

i give you nineteen twenty.

as of today it will be available for your purchasing pleasure on ravelry or the sweetgeorgia shop for a very reasonable price of $6.

it’s a weird but oddly fascinating combination of a wrap, and a shrug, and a cardigan, and is modeled here by the ever-gracious jing, who makes everything look good, for which i hate her.

it’s made with 2 skeins of sweetgeorgia merino silk fine, in a brand new fall colourway called mink (i know it’s not fall yet, but we’re thinking ahead, like newton, or vanilla ice). it comes in two sizes, both of which can accommodate a wide range of female anatomies. the pattern comes with instructions on how to customize the sizes too, to make it more or less drapey and to fit those oddly shaped bodies which are still (mostly) beautiful.

buy it, and make it, and wear it, and post all your praise in the comment section below. thank you.

May

2014

sick

liisa

knitting, misc, socks

27 May 2014

being sick is not fun.

in moments like these i find myself gazing longingly to the east, to the mildly socialist republic of finland, where you can be as sick as you can and miss as much work as you want, and the friendly government will always be there to cover your medical costs and reimburse you for the paychecks missed. they will patronize you, and belittle you, and humiliate you with endless red tape in the process, but at least your ability to pay rent and buy food is not compromised by the choice of some testicularly challenged dickwad to sneeze all over you in the skytrain.

but at least i have this.