3
Aug
2013
0

loverly

by this time you should all be aware that when it comes to knitting, and reporting about knitting, i am not a here-and-now kind of a person. let’s just say i’m very easily distracted.

so it shouldn’t surprise you that i’m coming forth today with yet another FO that has been finished for ages. seven months sounds about right. although this time a lot of it really has to do with crappy cameras, which, i’m glad to tell you, have recently been replaced by awesome cameras. cameras capable of giving knitted things the vibrancy and depth they so thoroughly deserve.

lovely by melissa kwan
sweetgeorgia superwash dk (65g / 4mm)

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it’s a test knit for a cowl that was designed by my good friend, vigorous enabler, and cohort in all things yarn-related, melissa. she put the pattern together back in the winter and was brave enough to ask me to try it out (i say brave, because… well, all of the above). which i did, in two days, because i’m fast and awesome.

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the cowl is the perfect one-skein project that doesn’t take that much concentration, but won’t bore you either. i used smaller needles, like i usually do, so the size came out a bit smaller than the pattern measurements. but since i like my cowls to be fairly close-fitting anyway, i can see how it could work even with fingering weight yarn. i can also appreciate the fact that the girly-girly heart motifs are balanced with rugged cables every now and then. i have my manliness to protect here, for god’s sake.

so in short, it’s a must-knit. go out and knit it, or else.*

in addition to all her yarn-related escapades, melissa periodically locks herself in a closet (literally – i’ve seen it) and sews project bags. she is too modest to believe it, but they are known throughout BC and beyond. so much so, in fact, that they don’t even make it to her etsy shop before they’re grabbed by knitters who notoriously hoard stuff and aren’t afraid to use their elbows in the process (while being brain-burstingly, ever-smilingly passive-aggressive about it).

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but it just so happens that melissa is going to be a vendor at both fibrations and knit city (her first live appearances!) so this is your chance to have a look in person and get your own. act fast though, before some greedy skank buys them all. i’ll be the one who’s armed with zombie machetes and a pair of wolverine claws. what’s your plan, bitch?

*or else what? exactly. 

31
Jul
2013
0

unbroken

for those not familiar with what’s truly imporant in life, the lady in the previous post was bette davis in now voyager (1942) and the letter (1940).

notice how she’s ugly when she’s weaving, frumpy when she’s crocheting, and completely smokin’ hot when she’s knitting.

the defence rests.

in other news, here’s a shawl i made. the boy took the pictures. he made me look all girly and pretty (i’m wearing a dress, for god’s sake) and afterwards we went back home and had hot perverted sex chocolate milk until dawn. as some consenting adults choose to do.

line break by veera
madelinetosh tosh merino light (160g / 3mm)

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to be fair the shawl has been finished since april. but i can’t keep up with all the stuff that happens anymore. there’s just so little time, and so much chocolate milk to be had.

mysteriously, at the same time, i’ve had to cut down work hours as well as knitting hours, because my retarded body won’t keep up either. i’m 28 and so, so broken. i have hip pains, joint pains, back pains, nerve pains, horrible eyesight, thinning hair and a general sense of an expiration date long since passed, notably manifested in the 13 different medications i’ve stooped down to taking daily.

but as god, bob and all other deities know, it takes a shitload more than that to break my spirit. in fact, i dare you, I DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, TO SAY ‘WHAT’ ONE MORE–

yes. the shawl.

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even at the risk of sounding unacceptably exhilarated, it’s a divinely perfect combination of yarn, texture, shape and colour that enamors me and positively sweeps me off my feet every time i wear it – and apparently others too (hi becca – no you can’t have this one, make your own bloody shawl!). making it was pure bliss from start to finish and taking it off the needles literally hurt my insides and made a part of me die – much like childbirth (episiotomy, anyone?), and indeed this furry piece of red cloth is my baby, probably more so than any actual human being will ever be.

i wanted it to be a bit smaller than the original sample, so i used 3mm needles instead of the suggested 4’s. the size turned out just right. it’s big enough to wear as a wrap, but small enough to tie around the neck. the tighter gauge makes it a bit warmer too.

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not that additional warmth has been necessary here lately. we are now officially at day 35 of the epic nonstop heat wave of 2013 (it hasn’t rained in five weeks, and i can smell it). but hot weather makes for pretty pictures, and also melts some of the permafrost of my cold, icy heart.

the spiders get fucking huge though. where the hell is the DDT?

12
May
2013
0

hi mom

you made me. that was a fairly awesome thing to do.

i know i’ve been the retarded black sheep of the family sometimes. made you lose your shit and caused you lots of worries and heartache when you deserved none.

sorry about all that.

and now i’m 5000 miles away and haven’t seen you in six months. life is good here, but not being able to hug you and say thank you and have farting contests with you sucks donkey balls.

i really really miss you.

back in the winter i saw this lovely merino-silk fibre at work that reminded me of you. i was only just learning to spin with a wheel, but fearlessly i sat down every night after work anyway for a month to spin a skein of yarn. my first full skein of yarn, in fact.

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after ogling the finished 500-yard skein for a good week or so it seemed only fair that you should get the very first thing i’ve ever knit with my own handspun, and so i started knitting you a shawl. the pattern is the same 22.5 degrees one i used to make my own shawl for TNNA.

towards the end i managed to run out of yarn for the scalloped edging, so i dyed some more fibre at work. not being very smart i added soap to the dyestock, and the fibre got felted. but being very persistent i spun it anyway, even though every second felt like a good old prison-style ass ramming (as you know i’m quite fine being gross).

and this is how it turned out.

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it’s soft and shiny and lovely and for some reason it’s perfectly stripey too — i can’t say that was intentional, since i just split the fibre into two bobbins and plied them without any colour planning whatsoever, but i’m willing to accept all of your oohs and aahs anyway.

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i hope you like it. i love you and miss you and one day i’ll be back and we’ll have us some good stinky times again.

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