:: fluff & hustle

Sep

2011

hiatus schmiatus

11 Sep 2011

in case you had any doubt about my borderline OCD dedication to yarn, please note that today, sunday september 11, exactly five days since my entire right asscheek was sliced open, pronged into and stapled back together with 21 shiny pieces of industrial metal, i rose from my sickbed and forced myself into a car, drove 20 miles and entered a crafts fair where i promptly acquired six hanks of yarn and a pack of square dpn’s while mowing down passers-by with my crutches and causing some general alarm because of the please-god-let-me-die look on my face (as well as my clockwork scarf, which apparently is so goddamn cool that it actually forces random people to stop and tell me how cool it is) then turned rather laborously around and drove back home.

where i now lie dying.

but still, i rule.

Sep

2011

grave announcement

liisa

misc

05 Sep 2011

i hereby announce a short hiatus from blogging and being funny and witty in general.

tomorrow i shall undergo some majorly graphic lower back / upper butt surgery to relieve me from a nerve pinch that has tormented me and made my life totally uncool for 2.5 years now. holy tranny christ how much it hurts. like hitting a funnybone, except the funnybone is in your ass and doesn’t go away.

so unless i die on the operating table, or alternatively choose to jump out the window because the surgery has turned shitsour like the previous surgery in 2010, i shall resume being funny and witty as soon as i’m able to put a pair of pants on again.

which admittedly is not a prerequisite to blogging in any way.

peace.
liisa.

Sep

2011

project infinity

liisa

finished 2011, knitting, lace, scarves

01 Sep 2011

a friend of mine came up to me in march.

“can you make me a lace scarf for my sister’s wedding?” she asked. “of course”, i replied, with a magnificent halo of professional knittingdom above my head. “i can do anything.”

so she bought a pattern and some super fancy silk yarn, and told me to do my thing.

i went home, sat down and said, “gee willikers”. well, something to the effect. beginning with the letter F.

i’m not very smart, you see. any work that requires active usage of the brain scares me. combine that with a whole lot of chart repetition, which hardly appeals to my tragic attention span and TV knitter habits, and you’ve got yourself a nice little shit sandwich.

but i boldly took up the challenge anyway, and after mere six months of extreme procrastination and subsequent consuming guilt the scarf is finally done. and i’m ready for some serious compliments, people. lie if necessary.

tuomi by milja uimonen

ravelry link

size 28 x 200 cm

bc garn silkbloom extra fino (90g / 3.5mm)

i’m really happy with it too. really. i am. the yarn wasn’t exactly an orgastic joyride to knit but works great in the finished piece. all shiny and excessive. i made 28 repeats of the chart and together with a rather violent blocking ended up with spot-on two meters of lacey drapeness.

but where the designer (and other normal balanced individuals) sees flowers, i see angry bees. for some completely non-freudian reasons, i’m sure.

i’m still not hugely and obsessively in love with lace for aforementioned reasons, but i do like the part where i get to say “finished” and get unconditional admiration from people who can’t or won’t knit themselves (and who thus don’t know any better). and of course it’s nice to be able to make something and then ~~sell it for an outrageous price~~ donate it benevolently to someone who appreciates it.

but the biggest mystery about this whole thing is how my friend knew what she’s going to wear for the wedding 18 months in advance. because it won’t be held until fall 2012. very, very not girly-like. in fact, i’m not sure she’s a girl at all. i check myself regularly. maybe she should too.

Aug

2011

christmas came early

liisa

misc, yarn

30 Aug 2011

i deserve all this stuff. i really do. because i’m such a good person. who happened to be in a desperate need of a yarn swift.

and who also happens to be very much in non-platonical love with the color yellow.

better start punishing myself for such objectionable folly. satanic waste of hard-earned cash, guaranteed to cause premature death in some gruesome, goresome yarn-related incident.

no, wait. fuck this. as of right now i refuse to feel guilty over the yarn-related stuff i buy. i don’t care what anyone says. it’s my money and my obsession. there’s nothing wrong with prioritizing yarn over food if it’s hand-dyed and pretty. and whether i have any immediate use for it is irrelevant, because the hanks are indeed pretty to look at and in their wonderful woolly texture offer soft consolation for my tear-stained, petless, husbandless soul. besides, a wise woman once said…

“i always feel a bit of a need to apologize for the yarn i buy. i feel like i should justify it or explain it or excuse it. but really, that’s silly. this is my business, and it requires yarn. so i bought some.”

some meaning 16.

so in this industry i’m still considered moderate. which means i need to go buy some more. now.